Intermacgooglewebular

Through the powers of the World Wide Web, an old college chum has found me. Naturally, it is not rare these days. People are found, re-discovered, romances re-kindled, hates re-formed daily. Hourly. But is it really wise? Back in the day, you graduate from a mediocre college and when you are gone, you are gone. One could rely on the powers of just bumping into someone on the corner of Haight and Ashbury (ok, this happened to me once and it was horrifying. I was running and errand, I swear!!!). Looking someone up is one thing, but now when you find someone you see quite a large part of their current lives. Or, as much as someone wishes to share, which is often too much, in my opinion.

I am not alone in thinking that perhaps this "tell it all" culture is a bit odd. What I find more troubling is that I walk past hundreds of people on the street that wouldn't give me a second glance on the sidewalk, yet once they are behind closed doors would have no qualms with telling me about their alcoholic step-dad and their propensity for bondage. I fear that the more exposure one allows themselves in one forum, another realm will suffer, namely, face to face. Such divulging of secrets may tap out the reserves, so then what does a person met "in the wild" have left?

It takes about 10 minutes of online dating to realize that the beauty of the internet is creating a new persona. Imperfections and quirks welcome, because gee, don't they sound great and funny in print? Sure! Given the right context, a hypochondriac who collects Pez dispensers and lives with 10 guys in a warehouse is de rigeur. I can fool myself, I can fool you--for months, friends, because I will believe my own new life. That is, until you get to know me and things fall apart.

That is why I sometimes think that online dating is like cloning. Both make a certain sense, but they are ultimately unnatural. It all seems fine in the beginning, but who knows how things will progress down the line, how things will age and warp in the future when the truer elements start to take over. I want to meet the animated version of my beau FIRST. A great photo is alluring, but what about the gleam in the eye, the little crows feet that form when he laughs, or the quirky hand gesture when relaying a story? That to me is all more important than having them tell me how they had to add pages to a passport to accommodate all those stamps at the border. (By the way, the world traveler thing is passé at this point. Everyone likes to travel, even if it is just to Montauk. This Paris to Positano bullshit must end.)

The point is, I am going to see someone I haven't seen in over a decade. I cringe at the thought that I knew this person as a young adult. Does that make me a pre-middle aged adult? He found me. Threw me an e-wave. So, of course I will go. I just hope he doesn't think my online self is my self.